


Let's Not Fight

by angelsfalling16



Series: 20 First Kisses [8]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 17:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: What if that conversation between Simon and Baz before Baz left for break went a little bit differently?





	Let's Not Fight

**Simon**

Baz is one of the last people to leave for break, and I will soon be alone. He’s slowly packing his leather trunk while I lie stretched out on my bed, staring at the ceiling and trying not to watch him.

“I have never been an option for Wellbelove,” Baz is saying. He looks like it pains him to say these words. That’s something new.

“I never thought you were, but I seem to have been wrong. Look, she doesn’t want to be with me, so now is your chance to make a move. I won’t try to stop you.”

“No. You’re not listening, Snow. I never wanted to go out with her.”

“Why would I believe you? You were always there trying to get between us and push us apart.”

“I was just trying to piss you off.”

“Wait, so you flirted with her just to hurt me?”

“ _Yes_.”

“You never cared about her?”

“No, Snow. She wasn’t the one I cared about.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Knowing that you never cared about her, that you just wanted to hurt me?”

He rakes his hand through his hair so hard that I think he might pull some of it out. He would probably look just as good without hair. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head, looking like it physically hurts him to be talking to me. He should just leave already so that we can be done with this conversation.

“You still aren’t listening to what I’m saying.”

I sit up on my bed, frustrated now. “You admitted that you never liked Agatha, and that all you’ve been trying to do is hurt me. What did I miss?”

“The part where I said that I cared about someone else,” he says, closing his trunk and not looking at me.

“Okay, you care about some other girl. How does that change anything?”

He closes his eyes briefly, looking pained, before storming gracefully to the door. “You are the one I care about, you bloody idiot,” he says before leaving our room and slamming the door shut behind him.

**Baz**

I walk quickly down the stairs, trying to get far away from Snow as quickly possible. Did I seriously just admit that I have feelings for him? Why did I do that? I should have just kept my mouth shut and left. But instead, I admitted that I _cared_ about him.

Maybe we can just pretend like this never happened. We’ll return from break, and we’ll still be enemies on a truce. Then, once he helps me find my mom’s killer, things can go back to normal. That is exactly what we’ll do. It will be fine. I just have to get out of here right now.

Just before I open the door to step outside Mummers House, I hear loud footsteps behind me and Snow calling my name. I freeze but don’t turn around to look at him.

“Baz wait,” he says breathlessly. He’s right behind me.

“What do you want, Snow?” I ask, still not turning around.

“Turn around,” he says.

“Why?” I sneer.

“Because I want you to be looking at me when I tell you what I have to say.” His voice is soft and sounds like it might break.

I slowly turn to face him, sneer still in place. “Okay. I’m looking at you, Snow. What do you want?” I expect him to look hurt at the cool tone of my voice, but he doesn’t. He does look nervous though.

“I care about you, too.”

“Care about me how?” I ask wearily. There’s no way he cares about me the same way I care about him.

“I care about you and whether or not you’re safe. I was worried about when you were gone at the beginning of the year. I searched everywhere for you.”

I want to think that he’s lying, but Dev and Niall did tell me something about Snow nearly attacking them when he was trying to get information from them about where I was. He also sounds truly sincere.

“So, what does this mean?” I ask him.

He looks down at the ground like he hadn’t thought that far ahead. He probably didn’t even know what he was going to say when he came running after me. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but he doesn’t actually say anything. It pains me to watch him like this.

“Snow,” I say slowly, waiting for him to look up at me. “Would you like to come home with me for Christmas? My offer still stands.”

“Really?” He asks hopefully.

“Yes, Snow. You just need to go pack some things, and then, we can leave.”

He smiles at me, and my heart nearly stops beating. Luckily, he turns around to start climbing back up the stairs. Two minutes later, we’re back at the door, ready to leave. I can’t believe I’m actually bringing Simon Snow, the Chosen One, home with me. What will my father think?

**Simon**

“So, how are we getting to your house?” I ask as we walk toward the gates.

“My father is picking me up.”

“Oh,” I say, coming to a sudden stop.

Baz makes it a few more steps before he realizes that I’m not beside him anymore. He turns around to face me with one brow arched. “Is there a problem, Snow?” He asks.

“No. It’s just that…your father doesn’t like me.”

“You do realize that he is going to be at my house, too, right?

“Yes but…” I trail off, not knowing how to tell him how I’m feeling.

He moves closer to me and speaks in a hushed, gentle tone. “It will be okay, Snow. They won’t hurt you; you’ll be our guest.” I hesitate, and he frowns. “Or you can just stay here if you want,” he says, his expression quickly becoming closed off once again.

“No,” I say too quickly. “I want to be with you.”

“Oh, you do?” He asks with a playful smirk, and I feel my cheeks burn.

“I just meant that I would rather be with you at your house than here alone.”

“I know what you meant, Snow,” he says, turning back around. He sounds a little disappointed when he says this, and I want to try to figure out what that means. But he has already started walking away, and I have to jog to catch up.

***

Baz’ father didn’t say anything when he saw me. He gave Baz a look that I didn’t understand, but Baz just shook his head. The drive to Baz’ house was long and quiet. I am relieved when we finally get to his, and we are able to part from his father.

I follow behind Baz as we climb the stairs to his room. He hasn’t said a word since we got into the car with his father. He has barely even looked at me. I wonder what he’s thinking about.

When we get to his room, I’m shocked. The colors of the room are dark, and there are gargoyles on almost everything. I stop in the doorway as I watch him open his trunk and start putting things away.

“Do you want to change out of your uniform?” he asks me suddenly.

“I don’t actually have much else to wear besides pajamas,” I admit, my cheeks warming. I never have much to wear when I arrive at Watford, and I prefer the uniform anyway.

“I can lend you something if you want.”

I consider this for a moment, but I can’t wear anything that belongs to Baz. Not just because he’s three inches taller than me, but because it would feel too strange. “I’m okay in this,” I say.

“Suit yourself,” he says. “I’m going to go change in the bathroom.” He pauses for a moment then says, “you don’t have to stand in the doorway, you know. You can sit down.” I nod and move out of his way, so he can leave the room.

Even though we’ve shared a room for years now, it feels strange to be in his room alone. Not wanting to disturb anything, I perch stiffly on the edge of the couch and wait for him to return. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the break if I don’t even feel comfortable in this house.

Now that I have a moment alone, I start thinking about what Baz said back in our room. When he said that he cared about me and not Agatha, did he mean that he liked me? What about when I said I told him that I cared about him, too? Was I telling him that I liked him back? This is something that we should talk about when he gets back. If things are changing between us, we should be on the same page.

All of these thoughts leave my head as soon as he enters the room.

**Baz**

When I return to my room, Snow is sitting on my couch. Well, sitting might not be the right word. He is sitting so close to the edge that he looks like he is about to fall off. When he sees me, his whole body seems to freeze and his eyes widen to an alarming size.

“You okay, Snow?” I ask, walking over to the chest at the end of my bed and sitting on it.

“You’re –– you’re wearing jeans.”

“I am. Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” I shift uncomfortably under his gaze.

He swallows, and the process is a whole scene, the way his Adam’s apple catches and his chin juts out. I look away from his neck, trying not to think about what it would be like to kiss him there. The way he’s looking at me doesn’t help the way my heart is fluttering in my chest.

There’s a knock at the door, and I’m saved from having to think of something to say when Mordelia walks in.

“You’re supposed to knock,” I snap half-heartedly. I’m secretly glad that she decided to just come in.

“Mum says you need to come down for dinner.”

“Fine.” She just stands there, so I say, “we’ll be down soon.” She rolls her eyes before walking out.

I turn back towards Snow, and I almost wish that she had stayed. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to him. We have never really talked much before; this is new territory for us.

“Let’s go,” I say, getting up and opening the door.

**Simon**

After dinner, Baz leads me to the library where we search through the books for anything that could help us figure out who his mother’s killer is. He finds a few books that might be of some use and shows them to me. As we look through them, I try not to stand too close to him.

I’ve never seen him wear jeans before, and every time I look at him, all I can think about is kissing him. He looks so good. But I can’t kiss him because I don’t know if that’s what he meant when he said he cared about me. We’re in his house, and if I do something wrong, I’ll have nowhere to go. I’ll have to find my own way back to Watford. That is if he doesn’t decide to kill me.

After a couple hours of searching, we still haven’t found anything. We decide to go to bed and look some more in the morning. He thinks there might be something to be found in his aunt’s room, but he says we should wait until tomorrow.

He leads me to my room before going back to his. I toss and turn for a while, but there is no way that I can sleep in here. There’s a dragon painted around the door, and it’s face glows and seems to follow my every movement. I might have been able to get over that if there wasn’t also something moaning under the bed and making it shake.

Finally, I get up and go knock on Baz’ door. I tell him that I have to go back to Watford, that I can’t sleep here.

“What?” he asks, rubbing his eyes. He’s half asleep.

“I have to go. That room is haunted. I can’t sleep here.”

“Come on. You can sleep on my couch.”

“I should probably just go.”

“Don’t go,” he says.

“Why not?

“How will you even get back? It’s the middle of the night.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I say, but I follow him into his room anyway.

“What?” he asks, closing the door.

“Why don’t you want me to go?” I ask.

He just stares at me for a moment, thinking.

**Baz**

Is he really going to make me spell it out for him? Of course I don’t want him to go. I never want him to leave, but I can’t just say that; it would scare him off. And he has already tried to leave once tonight.

“Do you really want to leave?” I counter.

**Simon**

No. I don’t want to leave. I want to figure out what is going on between us. I want to know why my heart goes crazy when he looks at me, why I can’t stop imagining what his hair would feel like if I ran my fingers through it.

“I don’t want to leave,” I say. “But I do want to know why _you_ don’t want me to go.”

“Fine.” He takes a step towards me. “I like you, Snow.”

**Baz**

He doesn’t say anything at first, so I start to turn away from him, not wanting to see the look of disgust that is surely on his face. But then, he is right there in front of me, inches away. His fingers skim mine, and I intertwine our fingers.

“I like you, too, Baz,” he says quietly. Then, he kisses me.

It’s a nice kiss. He knows what he’s doing, and I let him lead our movements.

After a few seconds, he pulls away and presses his forehead to mine. “I never want to leave you,” he says, voicing my thoughts from her earlier. “And I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

I squeeze his hand and tell him that I never want him to leave either.

I try not to think about the Humdrum or the Mage or even my father downstairs. I only want to think about him in this moment. The rest will come later.

“Let’s not fight then,” I say, and I kiss him.


End file.
